Rage Against (The Idiot Who Broke The Copy) Machine

You'd think in the time between opening up the copy machine with no idea of what you're doing and actually breaking the supposedly idiot-proof handle thing that you're supposed to press-to-release rather than pull-to-open you might stop and think "maybe I should ask for some help from someone who has actually done this before." In fact, you probably did have this thought, but then thought "Nah, I'll just go ahead and pull this thing until I rip it the fuck off, then I'll leave the copy machine totally broken for God-knows-how-long until the copy machine jerks come to fix it. In the meantime, I'll talk to my coworker about how I'm having a rough day with technology, seeing as I just broke the copy machine. You're telling me, sister. Now I've gotta make copies with the "Copy" function on my goddamn computer scanner/printer. I think it may be quicker to fax this shit to myself. I may as well get a rotary stencil duplicator and save myself the trouble. JESUS.